I'm not strong enough.

My girls deserve more than this.

They deserve to have a daddy who can pick them up and love them when mommy's hands are full.

They deserve to have a daddy who reads to them, rough houses with them, colors with them, takes them to the park.

They deserve a mommy who isn't frazzled.... stressed... overwhelmed... too often harsh, impatient, snappy.

They deserve more love than I can give them alone. More time than I have. More patience. More understanding.

More kisses, squishes, laughter, tickles, singing, running, games.

They deserve more than I can give them on my own. They deserve two parents. And I hate him for all of it. Because he didn't just check out on me. He checked out on them.

And they fucking deserve better.

So keep your phone calls. Keep your half-assed promises. Keep those clothes you keep promising... the "help" you say is coming. Keep your bullshit. And keep away.

Because you DON'T deserve these angels. You DON'T deserve to see their smiles, feel their light.

You don't deserve them. And you don't deserve me.